You Know Your Obsessed When
by DaedricMoonPrincess
Summary: Re-summited for spacing reasons. Things that happens when your addicted with morrowind and/or oblivion. REVIEW SO I CAN ADD
1. One to Fifty

Authors Note: This was inspired by a morrowind obsession list on Deviant Art. Some of these things may be from it.

Disclaimer: Sadly i do not i own morrowind or oblivion.

1. You start saying things like "By Azura" or "By The Nines"  
2. You think the middle aged browned haired hippie in front of you at McDonald's is Martin Septim  
3. You forget how to work electronics  
4. You enter an old mans house (Age 50-60) and tell him that Sellus Gravius sent you  
5. When you walk through a forest you expect an Altmer to fall from the sky with weird scrolls on him  
6. Every time you hear a bird, you think its a clift racer and hide.  
7. You start calling dollars septims or drakes  
8. You think the guy dressed in black and with a dagger is Lucien LaChance  
9. When your mom says what you want for dinner you reply crab meat and Flin  
10. When some one asks if they can borrow sugar, you accuse them of being a drug user  
11. You expect to find an axe in a tree stump  
12. You expect to see dead suicidal trolls under bridges  
13. You make a potion out of stuff you find  
14. You give it to your best friend and they end up pucking and having to be rushed to the hospital where their stomach is pumped.  
15. Your parents think your crazy because you keep trying to summon shit.  
16. When you and your parents visit an island you expect to find the door to The Shivering Isles  
17. When your geography teacher asks you to draw a map of the world, you draw a map of tamriel instead  
18. You start wondering if you should attack people so you can get their loot (Killing Is Bad)  
19. You think the uh nice people with not enough cloths on the street corner is a slave in need of rescuing  
20. You get beaten up by the nice person  
21. You try to sell your stuff at a grocery store and get arrested for soliciting  
22. You call the bus the stilt strider  
23. When you take a cab and some one asks where to you reply Balamora  
24. You Ask your parents for a sword  
25. You bring a fake sword to school  
26. You get suspended for a week  
27. You start entering peoples house to loot stuff, and ether manage to escape, get arrested, or get beaten up  
28. Your parents think the devil has taken over your body because you keep trying to summon Molag Bal  
29. You start calling cat nip moon sugar (Because of what it does to cats)  
30. You give it to your friend  
31. They spaz out and brake a chair  
32. They yell at you for giving them cat nip then run home  
33. When you steal shit you expect some one to come and give you a note asking you to join the Thieves Guild  
34. When you get arrested, and thrown in jail you expect Uriel Septim to come through your cell with his blades  
35. You ask people at bars if they have any jobs for you, unaware that they are not looking for slaves.  
36. You have a weird dream  
37. You go around saying your the nerevarine  
38. You start trying to loot local thug hide aways  
39. You think that because of your weirdo dream Dagoth Ur has return  
40. You lock your self in the bathroom and shave your head  
41. When you get into a fight you say N'wah, or Die Fetcher some shit like that  
42. Your girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with you because of your weird attitude  
43. Your parents send you to a therapist  
44. You try to barter with crabs  
45. You try and bribe police officers

46. You buy new cloths and dress in front of every one at the store

47. You go outside dressed in your under garments

48. You steal you moms ruby pendant claiming it's the Amulet Of Kings

49. You see a bottle of 5 hour energy without the red plastic cover and think it's skooma

50. You get rushed to the hospital after drinking seven of them and passing out

XD Thanks for reading, Please review to add more to the list XD, My goal is 200 XD

more on next page on next page... PRESS THE REVIEW BOTTON


	2. Fifty One To Sixity

51. Instead of calling doctor and nurses by proper names you call them healers

(49-51 Froom Paintball Willie)

52. You cut your eye to get a scar like Jiub

53. You check to see if there is a skooma set under your balding grandfathers bed

54. Your insistence that vampire don't sparkle in sunlight has nothing to do with hating twilight

55. You love every one in the game. Even your enemies. And squeel really hard when you see them in the game

56. Completing quests gives you acomplishment that real life never did

57. You complain loadly that fanart makes Martin look 20 years younger

58. You attempt to gaurd Vincent from Twilight fangirls with feriocity

(54-58 from The Winged Ferret)

59. You cast a levitate spell and jump of a clift only to plung into the sea

60. You eat a mushroom then scream saying its bulgars bone

Review so I Can add more XD


	3. Sixity One To Seventy

DMP: On with chapter 3 of the list XD

Martin: -Coughs-

DMP: What?

Martin: The Disclaimer, Idiot

DMP: HEY I AIN'T AN IDIOT

DMP: I DO NOT OWN MORROWIND/OBLIVION IN ANYWAY, BETHESDA DOES!!!

Martin: Isn't That Better

DMP: -Throws a brick at Martin- ON WITH THE LIST

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61. You complained loudly when you first started playing Oblivion and found out  
that Mark/Recall and Levitation weren't on the menu

62. You gripe about fast travel making things too easy.

(61-62 from Crisium XD

63. The man in the under wear on the street is not a nord looking for a witch

64. You call your uncle Lord Seogorath

65. You ask your uncle for the Staff of Seogorath

66. Your uncle gets a restraining order from seeing him because you attacked him when he wouldn't give up the staff he "didn't" have.

67. You swim under water and nearly drown in an old swimming pool building thinking that if you do the shrine with the daedra shall be reveled

68. You find a dead guy with money on him then run up to the guy with brown cloths and the knife next door and tell him you found the guy he was looking for (Tax collector.. he's located in seyda need or something) … only to be attacked on spot and manage to escape with your half your hair cut off

69. You expect to find a talking cat with a retarded hat on the nearby island

70. You go looking for the Cavern of Incarante only to end up in a drug den

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That's all for now cause lunch is over in 5 minutes XD

PRESS THE REVIEW BUTTON NOW


	4. Seventy One To 80

:DMP: Yeah here's 30 more for the list!

Martin: The Disclaimer?

DMP: I WAS GETTING TO THAT, LEAVE ME ALONE

MARTIN: -Backs off-

Jaufree: Do not yell at my King , low life

DMP: LOW LIFE!?!? IM THE DAEDRIC PRINCESS OF THE MOON

DMP: THATS IT IM GETTING A NEW POSEE, ON WITH THE LIST

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71. The smugglers den you just walked into is unfortunately an actual smugglers den

72. You look for the book of daedra at the local chapters

73. You get sent of to jail for beating up the clerk when he would hand over the book, which he "had"

74. You tell every one at church/other places about Azura, then get kicked out for disturbing

every ones beliefs (No offence to anyone... I'm not religious, but by law I guess I'm technically protestant... I think, anyway no offence to any one)

75. You get sent to jail for killing a nix hound for meat.

76. You expect to see Rats 3 times there sizes

77. You go looking for skulls in local smugglers caves/tombs (2 Mission in main quest.. do tombs and smuggler caves still exist???)

78. You get bitten by a human and then try to suck peoples blood (ewww)

79. You go on habbo and tell every one about Morrowind

80. You throw a party when news about Elder scrolls 5 is announced (It's said to be here by 2010, YEAH!!!!)

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I know I said 30, but I can't think of that many. BUT ITS MY MAIN PRIORITY

Martin: Yeah right

DMP: Okay so I'm working on a oblivion story, Main quest staring Ruby Topaz Gaia (My character)... Expect chapter one of that within this month, Also expect the next chapter of this soon to.. REVIEW!!!

Martin To Barus: 60 septims she'll give up

DMP: THATS IT YOUR FIRED!!! -Calls pose dudes-

DMP: I need a new pose, uh huh, 5 minutes? Okay

Maiq The Liar: Sup

Mud crab: Got-t anyy skooma?

Sanguine Worshipper: PARTAH

DMP: NVM I'LL STICK WITH MY ORIGINAL IDIOTS

ALL: HEY

DMP: SEE YAH NEXT TIME


	5. 81 to 130

DMP: After months I have updated to my fans! And I finally discovered who I am!

Martin: And what does that mean? You discov-

DMP: Eww, no not that, I now am: The Daedric Prince of Revenge, meaning…

-Pucket of acid falls on Martin-

Martin: OWWW OMG WHAT IS WROGN WITH YOU!

DMP: XD

* * *

81) You start harvesting random plants you find in the wild

82) You get arrested for trying to sell said plants, because apparently they are illegal

83) You complain when you can't find a levation mod for oblivion, and the only one you can is pretty crappy.

84) You complain loudly about how pissed you are that Bethesda is not working on the next elder scrolls

85) You get arrested again for doing something elder scrolls related

86) You start protest against Fallout

87) You can't hold down a job because you've been to jail like eight times and every one things you're insane

88) Some one tries to exorcise you

89) You bite said person

90) You parents send you to the hospital, and while your being taken away you sing: They're coming to take me away by Napoleon XIV

91) You buy a set of lock picks online

92) You try to break into a house, and you fail again. This time you get pawned by a cat

93) Unfortunely, the bear you startled cannot be killed by a magical command window using the command "kill" Also you have no weapon on you.

94) Since your not wearing any clothing other then undies and such people want your "Services"

95) The murder you just witnessed was not Uriel Septims, and you should run

96) When thrown into jail you attempt to kill the guy across from you, because your positive he is Valen Dreth

97) You try to kill or hurt any one who touches your elite awesome copy of Morrowind. (TOUCH AND I KILL)

98) After entering society again, ether returning from jail or a hospital, you don't know what modern day looks like. You don't forget how to use it, you forget it all together

99) You later that day get ran over by a car, in attempt to examine it

100) You join a local group of thieves which are also unfortunely local drug dealers

101) You get throw in jail yet again because the guys got caught breaking into a house and blamed you even though you weren't there

102) Your parents or any loved one refuse to pay your bail, because they're convinced you deserve this

103) You find a religious figure trying to exorcise your copy of Oblivion

104) When that fails he tries breaking it

105) It does not work, and your positive you heard a manical laughter in the distance

106) You try murdering a visiting prince because "he set the Dark Brother Hood after you!"

107) The sewer you entered is unfortunely filled with goblins.

108) When playing oblivion or Morrowind you get scared and tense when you enter a tomb or cave or a fort

109) You scream when something moves

110) You wish you could become Emperor or Empereress of Cyrodil, so you "marry" Martin Septim

111) One of two happens: You girlfriend/boyfriend ect. goes berserk because you married some one, or your parents are happy that you found a distraction from your game, and when the find out they're fictional and from that game they attempt to break your computer/xbox.

112) Epic Fail

113) You laugh at all the newbs playing the game

114) You complain how WOW has nothing on Morrowind

115) You become depressed and emo when Martin dies, and attend a funeral you are hosting in his name. Then you get pissed. He forgot to pay the rent.

116) You attempt to have… sex with the game. (Me: Uhhhhhh yeah okay I don't know you…)

117) You lose the ability to speak any language, you understand it you just can't speak it.

118) you put a washroom and a mini fridge in your room

119) you never leave

120) after four weeks of being in your room some one enters in hopes that your okay. You attack them

121) your back in the mental ward

122) People start a potation to ban the elder scrolls

123) You carry around an ipod filled with the environment music from the games, and play them depending on situation (battle music for fights, calm music for peace ect.)

124) You burn a copy of fallout

125) You call people who play Fallout traitors (Well apparently I'm a traitor then )

**And given to me by **Twilight Crystalblade

126) You build a Daedra Shrine in your backyard.

127) You go to church and worship the Nine Divines instead.

128) You purposely created female characters to hook up with Martin, Baurus, Vicente, Lucien, and Sheogorath.

129) You think your family are bandits because they enter your roomk without knocking and start beating them up.

130) You constantly bash people for being stuck-up, self-righteous jerks even though they deserve it.

* * *

Please review, and don't worry Martin is alive, in the hospital but alive.


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